Tensions ran high on Hyde St. earlier today when paternal grandfather, Dick Sapperstein, misgendered his grandson’s pet goldfish, Phil.
“I was just saying that he was a good fish,” the elderly transphobic told responding Child Protective Services personnel.
Philomena the Fish (she/her), did not directly respond to the toxic slur, but her caregiver, Russ Sapperstein, grandchild of the accused, was so offended he went outside and stood in his grandparents’ front yard, refusing to come back in even when his grandma said he could use the “World Wide Internet”.
The elder Sapperstein has a long history of such offenses, to include an ethnic slur last summer when he referred to an Asian woman as “oriental”.
After Russ’s parents arrived and subjected Sapperstein senior to “a severe talking to”, they chose not to press charges and cancelled the restraining order Russ had requested.
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