Becca Ray Brighton of Springville, Wisconsin has been crowned 2026’s Miss Misogyny USA!
Competition was tight and emotions ran high throughout the grueling two nights of events, with Brighton trailing crowd favorite, Barbara Bodsworth (also known as “Double-Barrelled Barbie” due to her impressive skeet-shooting skills) throughout most of the event.
This marks the 10th year of the pageant, which celebrates young women for their ability to emulate men while still looking hot.
“Women who can shoot guns, spit tobacco, and fix cars should be celebrated,” observed pageant co-producer and MC, Bill Clinton, “providing they’re hot, of course. Otherwise, it’s just gross.”
Brighton trailed by three points in the final round, where contestants were required to complete their choice of manly tasks while clad only in a string bikini. Becca Ray chose to rebuild the transmission of a 1968 Plymouth Barracuda while hanging upside down from a stripper pole.
In the last grueling minutes of competition, judges Bill O’Reilly, Kevin Spacey, and Michelle Obama were on the verge of disqualifying Brighton after she dropped a 3/8” wrench and was unable to reach it. But to the astonishment of judges, and cheers of the audience, Becca Ray produced another wrench from somewhere in her bikini and finished the job.
“She’s a true champion,” remarked a clearly emotional Michelle Obama. “This is exactly what Susan B. Anthony and the women’s rights movement envisioned 175 years ago. Ladies, we’ve made it!!”
Leave a comment