Tag: Grandma
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This Aggression Will Not Stand!
Tensions ran high on Hyde St. earlier today when paternal grandfather, Dick Sapperstein, misgendered his grandson’s pet goldfish, Phil. “I was just saying that he was a good fish,” the elderly transphobic told responding Child Protective Services personnel. Philomena the Fish (she/her), did not directly respond to the toxic slur, but her caregiver, Russ Sapperstein,…
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Advice From Grandma
My grandma used to say, “You can’t judge a book by its cover…or a cat by it’s stripes, or a pig by its penmanship, or a lobster by it’s appendectomy scar, or a model by her mustache, or a tangerine by it’s singing voice, or a baby by its driving, or a lesbian by her…
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Advice From Grandma
My grandma used to say, “Eat right and exercise…unless you’re too fat, or have to take hemoglobin shots, or bear a remarkable resemblance to Rutger Hauer, or smell like syrup, or have anhidrosis, or have never watched Gladiator, or feel like you’re hands are on the wrong arm, or never christened a boat, or subsist…
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Advice From Grandma
My Grandma used to say, “Never eat at a place that serves eskimos, or has a P in it’s name, or uses styrofoam, or is named after an astronaut, or faces south, or sells it’s own gravy, or has foreigners in the kitchen…unless it’s a foreign restaurant that cooks dishes from the foreign country the…
