The other day my friend told me about the party she was having for her stupid kid’s high school graduation. She said he actually asked her to make him a shark-cooter E-Board for the party.
I simultaneously barfed and wet my pants! What kind of freak would even think up such an abomination, let alone request one as a gift?!?
I mean, this whole e-bike, e-scooter, e-board craze is going to be over in like fifteen minutes, and that’s the least concerning thing about it. I don’t even know where you’d go to find shark-cooter. And I can’t Google it because I’m afraid I’ll wind up on some fish-perv government watchlist. And how many shark cooters would it take to make a board? And how would you even get them to stick together?!?
Once I got my stomach under control, I told my friend it was time to institutionalize her mutant kid, but she just brushed it off and said, “It’s no big deal. My mom can make it.” Your mom?!?
Well, as you can probably guess, I bid a hasty retreat and cut off all contact from their whole cooter-collecting clan, plus I phoned in several anonymous tips to shark conservation groups so they could keep an eye out for these weirdos.
Some people are just crazy!
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