
San Franciscans are about to get a surprise in the form of higher taxes due to budget increases in the city’s emergency services. Along with new turn-outs for city firefighters, SFPD will see upgrades in both transportation and protective gear.
City Controller, Greg Wagner, has greenlighted the purchase of a fleet of fell beasts from a supplier in Mordor to cut down on police response times in outlying districts. Until now, the department has only had cars, motorcycles, bikes, and luck dragons to rely on to patrol and protect the community.
“This upgrade will cut our response times in half,” advised Police Chief Derrick Yew, “…although we have a small issue with them eating their riders.”
Traditionally fellbeasts have only been ridden by Nazgûl, who are undead, and thus, not very appetizing, so Wagner’s office also OK’d an upgrade to the Police Department’s body armor to reduce consumption related injuries.
“At $800,000 a suit it might seem a little high,” Yew acknowledged, “but we take officer safety very seriously. Plus, Mithril is so in this year.”

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