Voters in a notoriously alt-right territory called Idaho will have an extra option on the ballot this November when they will get to choose the official State Gun, so Loser News sat down with the candidates to see what they had to say about the issues, specifically gun rights and the sanctity of life.
Winchester 1984 (30-30)-which is actually produced by Japanese gun manufacturer, Miroku Firearms- stated that he is pro-gun, anti-abortion, and indifferent on civil rights.
Winchester 1873 said that he also is pro-gun, but said he’s mostly against killing people, except for “injuns”.
Also from 1873, Colt Single Action Army Revolver said that he is ironically against firearm ownership by private persons and thinks women have a right to make decisions about their own bodies.
M1 Garand 30-.06 mixed things up by stating that he was against babies and thought that anyone who disagreed with him should be shot in the face by an American citizen who had lawfully purchased a firearm.
Colt M1911 equivocated on both issues, suggesting that there should be a high barrier for gun ownership, to include a thorough mental health examination and a slightly less thorough stool sample test. He also believes that most babies should not be permitted to own a firearm.
Remington Model 700 said babies in utero should be given firearms by the third week of gestation so that they can protect themselves from pro-choice advocates and tapeworms.
And Italian made Mannlicher-Carcano Model 91/38 simply announced that “guns anda the bambinos should getta together and have-a some pasta!”
See you at the polls!
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