Loser News

Guess what’s coming this Christmas! It’s new Paflamas, the best and brightest in disposable sleepwear.  

Paflamas come in a wide assortment of colors, patterns, and sizes for men, women, and kids.  Heck, we even make Paflamas for babies!

Each pair of Paflamas is lovingly soaked in rich, organic nitrocellulose to ensure complete, immediate incineration.  Just pile them up,  strike a match, and those PJ’s are gone in a flash, and without the acrid smell of other brands.

Paflamas.  It just doesn’t get easier than that.

Warning: Do not use Paflamas in areas where fire, heat, or oxygen exist. Do not smoke, jump, run, or remain still while wearing Paflamas. Do not wear Paflamas if you use a pacemaker, hearing aid, cell phone, clock radio, or any electrical device. In the event of fire, do not attempt to smother flames with Paflamas.