Loser News

Funkie Berdelstein!! That was my roomate in San Quentin. He was super-weird and kept trying to move to another cell for some reason.

Anywho, did you hear about Angelina Jolie going to Pakistan to help flood victims?  Evidently, she is able to push the waters back with her googly eyes and huge lips!  She must have inherited these powers from her father, who played Hamilton Cage in Karate Dog and was in The Champ with Ricky Schroeder, who is the son of the Android King, Sacajahontas, and wants to put a robotic bug in my ear to suck out all of my supernatural powers!

He even disguised himself as piece of dust and floated into my cell, but I recognized him and blew him up with my laser vision.  Nice try, Ricky!