Category: Health & Fitness
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Food for Thought?
Researchers from the Mayo Clinic, John’s Hopkins, and Ms. Rhoda’s Beauty College for Troubled Teens have just released findings on a joint research project. The study, titled The Effects of Viscoelastic Polyeurothane Consumption on Transient and Perpetual Anamnesis, was funded by the USDA and sought to find whether eating memory foam actually improves memory. “It seemed…
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A Transcendental Triumph
Placerville, CA- The last and greatest hetero-holdout in holistic health has fallen to pressure from the LGBTQ community as proprietors of Smash Street Yoga reluctantly taped a flier for “Queer Yoga” to their window, just to the left of the “No Public Bathrooms” sign. Owner/Proprietor, Otis Libowitz, received a court order this week from the…
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Coming Spoon!
In an exciting new development, researchers have found that the average American brain contains enough microplastics at the time of death to make an entire plastic spoon! A study published in Nature Medicine on Feb. 3, confirms that tiny plastic fragments are passing through the brain’s protective blood-brain barrier, potentially impacting health and cognitive function.…
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CDC OK’s N95’s…again.
ATLANTA, U.S.A.- Having lost the war on COVID, CDC officials have now approved new protective devices in the event of nuclear attack. The N-95 head-covering is made from state-of-the-art magnetized synthetic polypropylene fibers, which gives it plyability and protection in a lightweight, discreet package. The Nuclear-95 series protects the wearer against 95% of nuclear debris…
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