Now, I’m not the only one troubled by Cuba’s current problems and, as usual, the media is refusing to confront the real issues, preferring to investigate Lindsay Lohan’s new diet or Patrick Dempsey’s latest box office flop (although, Run and Can’t Buy Me Love totally rocked!!) rather than take to task the wretched treatment of this embattled and embittered entity. Yes, Cuba is in a crisis…a movie crisis.
Perhaps it was his manic moment at the Oscars, or his over the top portrayal of a mentally challenged man in the rural south (Radio…and Daddy Day Camp…and Snow Dogs) that spiralled him into a vortex of cinematic frustration and underpants commercials. Maybe it was the brilliant, brain melting heat of the Hollywood spotlight that overly ripened his fruitful career, rendering him soft and mushy and susceptible to the producers of Land Before Time: XIII…
(On a related note, the first Land Before Time movie was such a cataclysmic puke-fest, I find it difficult to even fathom someone being able to drag out a dozen more. This Don Bluth guy has unleashed some animated nightmares on his unsuspecting audiences. A Troll In Central Park?!? Rock-a-doodle? What is that? Was there a hole in the “talking animal befriends misunderstood kid” genre at some point in the mid-nineties? If so, I missed it. If you want to see a good, non-Disney, animated show, rent The Iron Giant. That show is the bomb! But I digress…)
In any case, Cuba Gooding, Jr. must be stopped, and if Hollywood won’t step up and bludgeon one of their own back to sanity, then I will.
Therefore, I am starting an on-line petition which would restrict Cuba Gooding, Jr. from performing any more lead roles until he has brought his supporting role ability back up to an acceptable level. If you support this legislature, simply click on the “comments” tab below, fill out the brief informational form, and type “I support the SCC (Save Cuba’s Career) Initiative”.
The life you save, could be your own…but will probably be that of Cuba Gooding, Jr.
Loser News 
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