Loser News

Dear Abner,

I went to one of those Build-A-Bear shops the other day, and after two hours, I still wasn’t able to build one, so they asked me to leave. Can I file a class action injunction against them? 

Thanks,

Un-Bear-able In Albuquerque

Dear Mike, 

I don’t know a lot about bears, but there sure are a lot of them. There’s the brown ones, the black ones, the white ones…well, I guess there’s only three kinds. Since I don’t know much about bears, I know even less about bear-laws. There is a guy on TV that chases bears that steal picnic baskets from campers. Maybe you should ask him.