Loser News

It’s been seventeen years since the end of the Gargamel Wars, but lest we forget the sacrifice of our brothers (and sister) in blue, let us take a moment to recall those dark days.  Now many of you may not be familiar with the Battle of Smurfandy, Hill Smurfty-Seven, or even the Big Blue One, but luckily that stalwart standard in phtojournalistic excellence, TIME Magazine, is.

This month’s tribute to the brave Smurfs and Smurfette, not to mention their aquatic Snork allies, is about recalling the pain, the evil, and the ignorance of one maniacal psychopath and his cat, and ensuring that nothing like this ever occurs again…at least until after Oprah retires sometime in 2012, as the Mayan calender predicts.

Spokesperson for TIME Magazine, Dan “Running Dan” Reis, relates, “It aint’s just about Smurfs, yo!! It abouts all of us what’s tired of all dis violence and ignernce, yo! Word!!”