Loser News

The other day while I was microwaving my favorite spoon, it occurred to me that I don't get as much time to write daily inspirations for the drooling public (you) as I used to.  Now I know most of you start and end your day inhaling the ether of my genius while lying in bed eating cake batter ice cream and pondering the existence of an Oprah-free world, and for this I commend you.

Unfortunately, it seems that people in Hawaii and Alaska aren't flocking to my deliciously decadent literary fudge shop as rapidly as I had first surmised.  In fact, it has come to my attention that many Kahunas and Eskimos (as they like to be called) aren't even aware of the existence of this blogtastic endeavor.

Thus, I am calling on all my Loser-Newsers to contact each of these country's leaders and communicate the necessity of reading this blog on a daily basis, even if I haven't written anything new.  Because that's what's important.

Thank You.