Loser News

Oh, yeaaah!!!  Neck got picked for the “Best In the Bizz Luncheon” this year, and since he hasn’t bought a suit since his mutant genes tranformed him into the eighth wonder of the world, he paid a visit to the local tailor.  He got by on off the rack pants and jacket, but the only shirt with a collar big enough to border the gargantuan tree trunk that supports his head was lime green and hung down to his ankles. 

The tailor said he had a set of California King sheets that he could probably put together to make a shirt, and would just use a couple of ice scrapers for ribs in the collar.  He was pretty sure he didn’t have a tie with the circumference capabilities to accomplish our particular neckulary needs.  I suggested an ascot or one of those cowboy ties (the string thing with a mini-belt buckle on it), but Neck got all pouty and insisted on a tie. 

So, to avoid an emotional meltdown, I asked the the tailor if he could maybe sew two or three ties together.  He said he could, but that it would cost extra, so Neck called his wife and asked for an advance on next week’s allowance.  Thankfully, she said yes. 

So now, Neck is stylin’ around in a slick new set of duds, representing the workplace, and he even got to have his picture taken with Ryan Seacrest (Seacrest is the one on the left).