Loser News

News you didn’t know you didn’t need…

And now a word from our sponsor…

Ditch those ear phones, ear pods, and even your device with new Thoughtible!  Now you can consolidate all of your entertainment and communication needs into one hands-free device that lets you stream your favorite books, music, and media directly into your pre-frontal cortex.

With Thoughtible’s new Mind-Spike© technology, you’ll have millions of books, songs, and shows at the tips of your hypothalamus, and with Amazon’s optional BrainBrowze© software, surfing the web couldn’t be easier.

Order today and one of our certified implant-technician /package-delivery specialists will come directly to your home to install your device!

Thoughtible from Amazon.  What will we think of next?

2 responses to “And now a word from our sponsor…”

  1. icons92 Avatar
    icons92

    I’m an early adopter of this technology and was a part of the closed beta release. The only side effect that I encountered is that conundrum of the great Ricky Bobby. “What do I do with my hands?”

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    1. Loser News Avatar
      Loser News

      With Thoughtible’s hands-free technology, you no longer need your hands and can donate them to children working in our foreign factories who have literally worked their fingers to the bone. You’re welcome kids! -Jeff B.

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  1. icons92

    I’m an early adopter of this technology and was a part of the closed beta release. The only side effect that I encountered is that conundrum of the great Ricky Bobby. “What do I do with my hands?”

    Like

    Reply
    1. Loser News

      With Thoughtible’s hands-free technology, you no longer need your hands and can donate them to children working in our foreign factories who have literally worked their fingers to the bone. You’re welcome kids! -Jeff B.

      Like

      Reply