Loser News

Guess what!  The terms analyst, annalist, anal cyst, analgesic, and Angelina are in no way related.

As you know, an analyst is someone who makes a detailed examination of anything complex in order to understand its nature, while an annalist is a recorder of historical events.

Conversely, an anal cyst, or anorectal abcess, is a painful lesion that forms in or near your glumpity-glump, or the area between your GG and your wang-doodle.

An analgesic has nothing to do with your GG or WD, except when applied as a topical ointment to relieve discomfort caused by anal cysts.

Angelinas, specifically Angelina Jolie, should never be applied to either of the aforementioned areas unless specifically prescribed by a doctor.

Warning: Do not use Angelina Jolie as an analgesic for anal cysts or as an aphrodisiac for your analyst, annalist, or Alan Alda, however I, Jango, Nail Eel is an apt anagram for the activist actress.