Loser News

Upon venturing for my post-latte purge at the local coffee shop, I was stopped in my tracks by perhaps the most confounding graphic I’ve encountered thus far in my tragically naive existence.

Now, I’m hip enough to know that the icon of the person on the left is of the ilk that wear some sort of pant/skirt combo, and is therefore either Scottish or from an alternate universe, but what about the guy in the wheelchair?

Was I asleep when they decided that “handicapable” was a viable gender option?!?  I mean, what are the qualifications I would need to officially change my gender to handicapped?

Do I need counseling before transitioning?  What gender-affirming medication options are available?  What if I only want to be a little handicapped?  Like, maybe, just have a limp.  How far do I have to go to get one of those handi-capped placards to hang on my rear-view mirror?

Well, unfortunately, I had to cut my existential Q&A session short because I’d already wet my pants.  In the future, communicational errors of this magnitude and dampness could simply be solved with bathroom signage of significantly clearer expression and subtlety. Like this!