Loser News

Curtis Lee James of Pilot Knob, Missouri was arrested today after he threatened to blow up Reeves Hardware Store with an explosive device.

James was seen running along Mulberry St. brandishing a metal cylinder, later identified as a can of Red Bull with a packet of Pop-Rocks duct taped to it.

“It was pretty dicey,” related Darnell Smoote, Chief of Pilot Knob PD.  “Especially after he shook it up real good.”

Curtis Lee claims that Reeves Hardware refused to give him a refund for a bug-zapper he purchased in 1981.

“He didn’t have his receipt”, said store manager, Jasper Reeves, “and he wouldn’t take store credit.”