Loser News

AUSTRIA…Europe?- A small band of dissidents took to the streets in Austria earlier this week to protest extremely reasonable “guidelines” set forth by a government that’s virtually never been on the wrong side of history.  

The almost infinitesimal group of 35,000 were beating drums, sounding horns, and chanting hate speech, such as “No forced vaccinations”, and “Enough is enough.”

“We arrested 10 people, which is roughly a third of the crowd,” remarked Revierinspektor, Klaus Leitner, of the Federal Police.  “Most of them were for not wearing masks or social distancing, but a couple of them had traffic flares.  They were way out of hand.”

Members of the extremist group told reporters that they just weren’t in favor of the government’s policies, before being blasted with water canons and beaten by police. 

“We simply want to lock them in their homes, restrict their freedoms, and compel them to take this questionably effective gene therapy treatment by force or coercion,”  says Austrian President, Alexander Van Der Bellen.  “It’s the only reasonable solution.”