Loser News

Hilton Head, S.C. — A shark attacked a 10-year-old boy while he was swimming off Hilton Head Island in South Carolina this week.

The attack occurred Sunday in in waist-deep water. According to reports from Hilton Head the boy, Jei Turrell, was bitten on the arm. The child related that he was underwater and saw a shark’s mouth. After the boy screamed “shark,” his family rushed over and saw blood running down his arm.

“The animal bit him and then swam away quickly”, related the victim’s mother, Tonya Turrell, who wrapped her son’s arm in a towel and went to a lifeguard for help.

Experts at the Florida Museum of Natural History confirmed the shark bite from photos of the wound and suspect it to be from a black-tip.

Jei was airlifted to a hospital in Savannah, Georgia and underwent surgery for severe injuries. He is now recovering.

May is the most common month for black-tip sharks to be found in the Hilton Head area, according to local records. The animals are smaller than other sharks and so their bites are less likely to be fatal.

Hilton Head, S.C.- A 10-year-old boy attacked an adolescent black-tip shark in the shallow waters off Hilton Head Island in South Carolina this week.

The attack occurred Sunday in waist-deep water, according to reports from Hilton Head. The shark apparently had a human appendage jammed down its throat. The shark said he was “just swimming along” and saw a young human flailing in the water.

“I thought maybe he was in trouble, so I went over to help”, the shark related. “Then he just went apesh#t!”

“The kid tried to punch him in the face, which is a way stupid move”, commented a seagull that had witnessed the incident. “Those things should stay out of the water.”

“I kept trying to get his arm out of mouth, but he was totally spazzing-out,” recounted the shaken shark. “All I could see was blood and flippers.”

May is the most common month for pasty-legged juvenile bipeds to be found in the Hilton Head area, according to local records. These humans are smaller than full-grown people, so their limbs present less of a choking hazard, and are less likely to be fatal.