Loser News

Dear Dr. Baddadvaisz,

I just got a great new job with lots of travel, but didn’t tell my new employer I get motion sickness. I hate taking all those over the counter drugs. Is there some holistic remedy I can use so I don’t have to come clean?

Thanks,

Unraveling Traveler 

Dear Travis,

Congratulations on your recent employment… providing it is not in nursing. Motion sickness is a common problem in genetically inferior people like you. As your cerebral cortex is underdeveloped, you brain sloshes around considerably more than a normal person’s, creating dizziness, nausea, and fatigue. Therefore, a good case of encephalitis can set you right as rain.

Encephalitis is an inflammation of the brain caused by a virus, such as; West Nile, Herpes Simplex, or the Judds, which are all readily available for a nominal fee in the pristine desert oasis of Las Vegas, Nevada.

Happy Trails,

Dr B