Loser News

American moviegoers’ hopes were dashed last week when Entertainment magazine reported that Jennifer Lawrence would not be taking a year off from acting.

Speculation that the actressvist would take a sabbatical was raised in an interview with Entertainment Tonight when the 27-year-old said she was going to take a break from the screen in order work with a non-profit organization fighting corruption.

“It doesn’t have anything to do with partisan politics,” she advised a homeless person at a 7-Eleven in Santa Monica. “It’s just anti-corruption and stuff trying to pass state by state laws that can help prevent corruption and fix our democracy, which is broken because of corruption and stuff.”

To a public with hopes of staunching the flow of “artistic” endeavors by Lawrence, it was a stunning blow.

“Why couldn’t she have stopped at American Hustle,” asked a visibly shaken Bill Turner, ticket-tearer at a Denver Cinemark Theater. “And did you see Mother? WTF?!?”

Lawrence has repeatedly discussed temporarily stepping back from her acting career. She first talked about taking a break in September during an appearance on Today.

“I’m taking one. I don’t have anything set for two years,” she told Savannah Guthrie, as crowds outside of the studio broke out in celebration.

And with upcoming cataclysmic cinematic trifecta of X-Men: Dark Phoenix, the John Wick knock-off, Red Sparrow, and biographical Successful Woman in Insecure Misogynistic Society (working title), 2018 should be a banner year for the pharmaceutical industry.