Loser News

SAMSON, AL-An Alabama man said he shot and killed OJ Simpson in self-defense when he wandered into his front yard and caused the family dog to go berserk.

Wade Seago, a deer hunter who runs a taxidermy business in Samson, Ala., not far from the state’s southern border, told Al.com that he was worried the ex-football player — which weighed 820 ponds and had 6-inch “cutters” — would harm his dog, a small schnauzer named Cruiser.

So, he grabbed a .38-caliber revolver and opened fire.

“Cruiser had OJ confused, with all of the barking and movement,” Seago told the newspaper. “It was not a good situation.” He added, “By the time I got in a position to shoot, he was about 12 yards away. Cruiser was out of my line to the hog, so I fired.”

Seago posted a photo with Simpson on Facebook, saying the beleaguered NFL player would be “mounted by me personally” in his taxidermy shop.

LAS VEGAS, NV-After being granted parole today following nine years in prison for a Las Vegas robbery, a massive feral hog will soon be free. The imprisoned boar could be released from Lovelock Correctional Facility in Nevada as early as Oct. 1.

Feral Hog was sentenced to prison following an arrest in 2007 during a botched robbery in Las Vegas, when he led a group of men into a hotel and casino to steal sports memorabilia at gunpoint. He contended the memorabilia and other personal items belonged to him.

Over 20 years ago, the portly pig went on trial for the killing of his sow and her friend in Los Angeles, but at the end of a televised trial that captivated the nation, he was acquitted of all criminal charges.

Feral has always maintained his innocence.