Legendary flamboyant pianist (watch the pronunciation), Liberace, will celebrate his 96th birthday today by remaining dead. Several fans, impersonators, and homeless people plan to gather at Las Vegas’s breathtaking Chevron gas station on Flamingo Drive near the 99 Cent Store that used to be a Vons.
“I owe everything I am to Mr. Berace”, remarked ex-football great and Liberace impersonator, Ray Lewis. “He’s the Rosa Parks of bling.”
A visibly distraught Elton John echoed his praise. “The first time I heard him tinkling the ivories, I knew I wanted to be a fashion icon. After all these years, I just can’t believe he’s still dead.”
Local schizophrenic vagrant, Stinky Pete Farnsworth, also joined in the solemn tribute by defecating in a nearby dumpster.
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