Loser News

Dear Dr. Baddadvaisz,

Dear Dr. Baddadvaisz, I found out I’m eligible for that Affordable Health Care stuff and that, if I don’t sign up, I could get fined. The problem is, it’s super-expensive and I don’t feel like paying for prostate care when I don’t think I even have one. What should I do?

Sincerely,

A. Bynes

 

Dear Abbie,

I often read your advice column and must say that you are not very smart. Were you ever a nurse?

Most people have between 4 and 6 prostates, so I would definitely spring for the optional coverage. The rising expense of healthcare coverage certainly sounds like a bummer. Fortunately, I am rich and a doctor, so I am not affected. I have heard that many people sell their blood, plasma, and kidneys to earn extra cash. Perhaps you could do this so that you can afford your Affordable Healthcare. I will personally pay your $600 for one of your prostates.

That’s six large,

Dr. B