Loser News

Okay, color me dyslexic, but what's the difference between DSL, LDS, and LSD? I mean they're all the same letters, right?

Well, I called my local cable subscriber last week, asking if I could get some of that high-speed LSD, because I was seriously jonesing for the stuff (so I could really soup up my internet experience). So, he says he can't help me, but he does knows a guy who could probably get me what I’m looking for.  

Well, I give his friend a call, and he wants to meet at a bar, but I explained that, since I'm DSL, if I go to a bar I could lose my temple recommend.  So he just says to meet him at the bus station downtown.

So, I drive downtown to meet him, but when I get there I don't see anybody in a fur top hat, so I just decide to wait outside. Fortunately, there’s this really nice lady just standing on the corner who chats me up almost immediately.

She’s dressed a little more flashy than the girls I usually see at church mixers, but I figure, what the hey. So, we talk for a few minutes about my likes and dislikes, which was super-polite of her. Then fuzzy-hat guy walks up and asks me if I'm the one that called him about his stuff.  

I say, “Heck, yeah I am!" And guess what!! It turns out he and my new lady friend are already acquainted. In fact, they work together. Small world, huh?!?

So I ask him about the LDS, and there must have been some mix-up or something because neither of them even work for a cable company. Turns out he's a supervisor at some temp service and sells vitamins on the side to make ends meet.

Long story short, I didn't get the LDS, but I do have date for tonight and a month's supply of homeopathic energy booster.

It's funny how things work out.