Well, as you know, it’s Diversity and Inclusion Awareness Day again, but this year some people are feeling “disinclused” because they only have a day instead of a month dedicated to them, and in rare cases, have no time dedicated to them whatsoever. Let’s take a look.
There’s; Hispanic Heritage Month, Disability Employment Awareness Month, Italian American Heritage Month, American Indian Heritage Month, Black History Month, Women’s History Month, Irish American Heritage Month, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, LBGT Pride Month, Caribbean American Heritage Month, Family Heritage and Diversity Month, Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month, German American Day, Polish American Day, Disability Mentoring Day, Veterans’ Day, Dutch American Heritage Day, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, International Women’s Day, Bring Your Child To Work Day, and Women’s Equality Day.
Granted, there are only fourteen months in a year, and with the way things are now, not every special person can get 30 days to celebrate his or her, or his-her, special…ness. But if we work together, using our diversity and inclusion as a strength, we can conquer the day/month disparity that is tearing this country apart.
Now, after polling a discreet yet diverse control group consisting of a Pollock, a Dutch or German dude, an “international” woman (I could tell you some stories.), kids whose parents force them to go to their workplace, a smelly French guy, and the lich of Tupac (was trying to channel the spirit of MLK, but must have gotten turned around), I believe I have solved this, the most enigmatic conundrum of our time. Feast your eyes:
January: Hispanic Parents Who Bring Their Kids To Work Month
February: Irish Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Transgendered Veterans’ Month
March: African-American Pollock Month
April: MLK Jr., Ovarian Cancer, and Sexual Assault Awareness Month (not really celebratory topics, but at least the weather’s nice)
May: Disabled International Women’s Month
June: Dutch American-Indian Assault Month
July: Asian-Pacific Islander Women’s Mentoring Month
August: German Sexual Heritage Employment and Diversity Month
September: Italian Ovary Equality Month
October: “Flying Dutchman” Caribbean Pirate History Month
November: Woman-Americans of America Awareness History Month, and
December: Irish Veterans Seeking International Women to Take To Work Month
Sure, we forgot the Jews and Eskimoes, but they have Hollywood and blubber to pacify them. Ta-ta!!
Loser News 
Leave a comment