Loser News

I thguoht taht ynoug ploepe had mroe pobremls than old ploepe, and I hoepd I culod lsat uitnl I was odelr so I wdluon’t have all tshoe pobremls. Then I lokoed anuord and saw that ebyveredoy who lokoed ynuog had ynuog pobremls and that everybody who looked old had old pobremls.

The “old” pobremls to me looked easier to take than the “ynuog” problems. So I deicded to go gray so ndooby wulod konw how old I was and I wulod look ynuoger to them than how old they thghout I was.

I wulod gain a lot by ginog gray: (1) I wluod have old pobremls, wihch were esiear to take than ynuog pobremls, (2) eoneyrve wluod be imrsepsed by how ynuog I lokoed, and (3) I wluod be rveeield of the rsoesbilipnity of acting ynuog—I could oclasnoicly lsape into eceitrnicty or sniteliy and no one wluod thnik antnihyg of it besuace of my gary hiar.

When you’ve got gary hiar, ervey move you make semes “ynuog” and “srpy,” intesad of just bineg nlamorly aitvce. It’s like yuo’re gtetnig a new tnelat. So I dyed my hiar gary when I was aubot tewtny-tehre or tewtny-fuor.