Loser News

Barnstead, NH- Maintenance worker, Ike Johnson, is doubtful for Saturday’s overtime shift at the Lakes Region Pellet factory after being sidelined Thursday with a sore right hamstring.

“It’s been a tough year,” the Electrician admitted.  “Last month, the calf strain.  Now this.  I’m not worried though.  I’ll bounce back.”

LRP has had a long string of injuries during the first quarter of 2012, including janitor, Rick Martin’s, torn miniscus.

“It’s a long season,” remarked factory manager, Jeff Langston.  “We still have some weapons on the floor.  Bill Mentser may have a few years on him, but he’s still the best lathe worker in the biz.”

Carl Frank, owner and CEO of Dongora Pellet Factory, was more blunt.  “Hell, without Johnson and Martin, they really can’t even compete.”