Loser News

Once again, President Obama's citizenship has been called into question by conservative Americans and the liberal media alike.

Scheduled to appear at a Burn The Fat Rally (where he and the First Lady were to ignite, in effigy, a piñata of an obese child) in Oxnard, California, attendees were astonished to witness him do just that. As he was introduced by MC and close friend, Dirty Bastard, he simply appeared from nowhere, stepping out of the shadows and waving exuberantly to the sufficiently vapid throngs of mensch willing to DVR Springer.

"He just came out of nowhere,” shrieked a perennially obnoxious Wendy Williams. "I almost lost my Botox!!"

Obama's detractors took the opportunity to rehash troubling questions about his country of origin.

"I'll take a crap right here if he isn't Kurt Wagner,” an obviously irritated and unemployed Glenn Beck exclaimed. "I watched all the X-Men movies and that's exactly what Nightcrawler does!"

Wagner, a German citizen and alter-ego of Marvel's Nightcrawler is ineligible to hold the post of US President due to his nationality, as would the current Head of State if his duplicity could be proven.