The FBI added another suspect to its most wanted list earlier today, alerting the public that he was armed, possibly dangerous, probably unstable, and definitely lactose intolerant. The man (pictured at right), known as Sheik Shaggy Von Brady, is currently being sought for questioning, and probably elimination, by US agencies, Interpol, the KGB, the NRA, PBS, and Oprah.
Other aliases the international interloper may be utilizing are; Tim, That Tim Guy, Sporty Spice, Criss Angel Jr., and Phoebe from that Friends show.
"He's extremely unstable,” warned that Department of Justice guy that looks like Harris from Barney Miller. "If you see him, duck behind a garbage can and say 'Hooty-Hoot' like a bird five or six times. Agents will be there shortly."
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