WASHINGTON D.C.-The mentally challenged and heavy jowled gathered Thursday to pretend to give a crap about what the President said in his most recent banal rant.
“Holy crap!” exclaimed a pasty white female in a blue pant suit. “This jerk would talk until his jaw fell off, and then make us watch his teleprompter. Sometimes I’m sorry we made him our dictator.”
“I’m thoroughly enjoying it,” replied a foot-faced man wearing a pink tie. “You can tell he totally hates the Jews. It takes me back to my old Hitler-Youth rallies.”
Other spectators’ reactions ranged from boredom to daydreaming to having to take a squeege. Half-way through the seven hour speech, a bespectacled man in the second row died unexpectedly and had to be removed by custodial staff.
“He was pretty old,” remarked a guy in a tan uniform with lots of pins on it. “But I think it was the boredom that killed him.”
The President ended his torturously monotone monologue at 2:00 AM EST, saying, “and if you don’t like it, you can kiss my grits!”
Loser News 
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