Loser News

WASHINGTON (AFP) – US researchers said Friday they’ve found that people who had contact with Lindsey Lohan were 2.5 times more likely to develop Parkinson’s disease. Previous research on animals has linked the actress to Parkinson’s disease, but a new study examined 110 people having contact with “Lilo” and 358 people who served as a control group. Results were startling.

“Lohan directly inhibits the function of the mitochondria, the structure responsible for making energy in the cell,” said study co-author Freya Kamel, a researcher at the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences. “People who have contact with her are much more likely to develop Parkinson’s disease.”

LOS ANGELES, Ca-Agricultural pesticides will consider a plea deal on the charge that they stole a necklace from a jewelry store if they can avoid going to jail, their lawyer said Thursday. Attorney Shawn Chapman Holley insisted, though, that the grand theft charge is “entirely defensible.”

The pesticides entered a not guilty plea in the case Wednesday before Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Keith Schwartz, but the judge immediately revoked their probation related to a 2007 drunk driving conviction.