Loser News

Humpty Duck!! I just realized that the words “epiphany” and “epinephrine” aren’t the same. Straight dope!!

As you know, epinephrine is a hormone secreted by the adrenal medulla upon stimulation by the central nervous system in response to stress, anger, fear, or Oprah. However, an epiphany is a sudden intuitive perception of, or insight into, the reality or essential meaning of something (usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience, derf).

Now, neither of these terms should ever be confused with “epileptics”, who flop around on the ground and ruin parties, or “Epstein”, who was the Puerto Rican Sweathog in Welcome Back Kotter.

That should clear things up.