Loser News

Dan “Running Dan” Reis, controversial leader of street/prison/zoo/pediatrics waiting room gang, The Dans was seen lurking backstage at the American Idols Live concert Sunday night at the Huntington Center in Toledo, OH.

“Yo dawgs! I wunta been here at all”, the gang leader remarked making a “bood” sign with his fingers, “cept me and Bowersox go way back, yo.”

The 2010 Idol runner-up admitted that she was heavily influenced by such local bands as Uncle Sandwich and the Terry Cooper Band.  “But when I heard Truss Phunn‘s first album, Punchin’ Da Walrus, I knew I had to be part of this industry!”

“I done come a long way since then”, Running Dan/Truss Phunn commented to Ling Dixon, a reporter from the Pulitzer Prize winning, Maumme Mirror. “In fack my new album be coming out next week, dawg! It’s called Wedgey Pancake, an’ it’s dope, yo!!”