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Dear Dr. Baddadvaisz,

I’ve tried every diet out there; the Atkins Diet, the Five Bite Diet, the Cookie Diet, and even the Skinny Vegan Diet, but nothing helps!! I’m at the end of my rope. The only thing left is surgery. Do you recommend the Lap Band?

Desperately Yours,

R. Seacrest

 

Dear R.C.,

I fully understand your struggle with your fatness.  I too have battled the bulge from time to time, but for me it was very easy.  I would suggest that you try several more fad diets before you call it quits.  Better yet, you should try the Binge and Purge Diet or the Tapeworm Diet.  These are both very effective for fat people like you.

I would caution against the Lap Band.  Certainly, You Dropped The Bomb On Me is a classic, yet Humpin’ and Jam The Motha were a little too edgy for me.

Steppin’ Out,

Dr. B