Loser News

Wowzers! I finally saw this show by streaming it through my hi-speed Samsung Blueray player (jealous much?).  Well anyway, I love Cusack, and I’m partial to the “Cataclysmic End of the World” genre, so I figured win-win.  I was so naive…

I’d forgotten that the same director that brought us Stargate and The Patriot also subjected us to hours of torture with Eight Legged Freaks, Godzilla, and The Patriot.  Roland Emmerich gives new meaning to the term “Disaster Film” with his inability to save his feature with a golden performance by Woody Harrelson as an eccentric radio celebrity embracing his own demise. 

Worse yet, Emmerich co-wrote the chronically painful yawn-fest with composer Harold Kloser, known best for his enrapturing soundtrack on Alien Vs. Predator.

Thus, the dialogue was comparable to Over the Top on tranquilizers.  Lines like, “The moment we stop fighting for each other, that’s the moment we lose our humanity”, come straight from the Dr. Phil episode with the unfit mother who forced her kids to pan-handle to support her out of control Ho-Ho addiction.

In retrospect, however, 2012 was the perfect name for this cinematic stool sample as that’s how many minutes of my life it consumed with blatant disregard for my mental health or entertainment needs. 

Plus, “Roland” totally disses everything representative of Christian Culture, toppling Christ the Redeemer in Brazil and cracking the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel right where God and Adam’s fingers touch.  Then he goes and saves what’s left of humanity in Arks. 

Hey Roland, symbolism is a little beyond you…and you’re a hypocrite.

Suggestion: Make a movie that’s worth a crap, then maybe you can try being clever.  M. Night Shyamalan you are not.