Jeepers creepers!! Did you see the sky last night?!? It was totally full of shooting stars with secret messages written in the vapor gases in their tails! Luckily, I have my decoder watch that was given to me by Cindy Lauper while we were sharing a peanut butter malt at Yum-Yum’s in Cucamonga.
As you know, the meteors are actually space birds like the one on the Herculoids, but they don’t breath air, but they still shoot lasers out of their tails. And since I’m the only one who can decipher the code, the parole board is sure to let me out to be part of their Pentagon think-tank to defeat the marauding space-adactyls, but little do they know that I’m actually one of the avian aliens with a cloaking device that allows me to walk among the Earthlings completely unnoticed.
Don’t worry though. We won’t be invading until the Prophecy of Mummenschanz has been fulfilled, and Jaleel White ascends the throne to rule all the universe!!
Loser News 
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