Loser News

Holy jeepers!! Did you ever see that movie The Ring?!? I didn’t because of my bladder control issues, but I did read the review and this is way scarier.

The other day I got a FWD on my e-mail. Now, I don’t usually pass these along but this one changed my mind.

Read at your own risk!

Read Alone…or with your eyes closed.  Especially the Poem.  The Poem is very true, unfortunately. Make sure you read the Poem!

Did I mention, the Poem?

CASE 1: Gene Kelly had one wish, to play a newspaper writer in a movie about the creation/ evolution debate. He received his wish and was cast opposite Spencer Tracy, but didn’t foward this e-mail. Years later he would do Xanadu.

CASE 2: Katie Holmes received this poem and being the believer that she was, sent it to a guy she met online named “Tom C.” He super appreciated it and asked her out on a date. She agreed and now she is part of his cult that eats puppies!!

CASE 3: Marsha Brady received this poem and immediately sent it to Kyle Korver. Then she went outside and was hit in the nose by a football.

Coincidence?!?

This is the Poem:

Around the corner I found a goat, in this great city that has no moat,

Yet the days go by and I must vote, and before I know it, a year is smote.

And I never see my old friends unmentionables, for life is a swift and terrible camera,

Penelope Pitstop favors and egalotarian governemnent, just not in THAT way.

The times were few but the times are incontinent, and now we are busy, tired napkins.

Tired of playing Celebrity Jeopardy, tired of trying to buy a vowel.

‘Tomorrow’ I say! ‘I will buy those pants just to show that I’m thinking of forks’.

But tomorrow comes and tomorrow is a jerk, and distance between us grows and Arethas.

Around the corner, yet not, but still, ‘Here’s a telegram sir. Jim has scabies.’

And that’s what we smell like in the end. Around the corner, a varnished panzer.

Remember to always say what you don’t think anybody will be able to disprove. If you love someone, tell them to “touch your monkey”. Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too early. Seize the pudding. Never have bacon. And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they are why you’re so screwed up.

You must send this on in 3 seconds after reading the letter to 164 other people. If you do this, you will receive unbelievably weird gas.

*NOTE* The more Senators that you send this to, the better luck you will have.

SMILE, even through shards of broken glass!!!!!