Loser News

I am so tired of being treated like a sex symbol!  Chicks hitting on me from the time I get to work until I drive my SMART car out of the parking complex.  It’s disgusting!

All I want to do when I get to work is sit in my cubicle and play World Of Warcraft, but NOOOO!  Some bimbo always comes over as soon as I attack a warg or swanatee (cross between a swan and a manatee) telling me her “Windows froze” or her “hard drive” needs to be “defragged”, but I know what she wants.

Sex.

So, I log-out of WoW, lock my work station and follow her to her perfumigated workspace where I find she’s “accidentally” disconnected her lan cable from the wall.  So, the whole time I’m under her desk I can feel her hot eyes boaring through my Dockers, trying to slip under my sweater vest, and sliding through my greasy hair!

It’s sick!  Why can’t they look past my smoking hot sexuality and see me for who I really am?!? A hopeless romantic with poor social skills and a general contempt for anything carbon based.