Loser News

Ya’ know what? I sure hate them Hymie diamond merchants. In fact, if the Jews want to get it on, tell them to pin their yarmulkes back and come over to my house… J.K. I’m just funning, and I’m very sorry if I hurt your little Jew feelings.

See how easy that was, America?!? You too can say whatever you want and get away with it. As long as you do like me and publicly apologize while denying the accusation.

In 1994, I told an audience at Kean College that “White folks was in caves while we was building empires…. We taught philosophy and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got around to it.” I advised the media that the phrase was taken out of context, and you know what?!? They believed me. Now I’m even the spokesperson for the homos!

Then in 2007, I said, “As for the one Mormon running for office [Mitt Romney], those who really believe in God will defeat him anyways, so don’t worry about that.  That’s a temporary situation.”  So, a couple days later I had CNN come over to my office and film me saying, “Whatever words of mine were misused, I am not against anybody in any church, whether they subscribe to my beliefs or not.” They totally bought it. Mormons!!

Anyway, you see how it works.

I even got on the news and said how it was the Federal Government’s responsibility to provide food and medical care for ALL Americans, and the whole time I was over a million dollars behind in my taxes!