Dear Dr. Baddadvaisz,
Cold and flu season is back and I can’t recall whether you feed a fever and starve a cold, or feed a cold and starve a fever. Which is it?
M. Obama
Dear Mo,
Many people have the same difficulty distinguishing between the two, and just like those people, you are completely clueless.
Starving a cold will only make it angry, while feeding it will simply make it stronger. You must slap a cold and then immediately say, “I am sorry, baby. You brought that on yourself.” This will totally confuse the cold giving you the upper hand.
A fever must be force fed dry gelatin and then encouraged to consume mass quantities of water which will cause it to explode. Zotz will work, too.
Gesundheit,
Dr. B
Loser News 
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