Loser News

Recently I was playing with my Philo Farnsworth action figure when the ever-familiar "Farnsworth Vs. Zworykin" controversy violently rebirthed in that gelatinous part of my brain where I think I lost that pencil.  I mean, anybody who thinks Zworykin's iconoscope predates the inspiration of a fourteen year old Farnsworth's image transmitting brain child is a commie and a flake…and a commie flake (not to be confused with Downy Flake which is both restaurant in Nantucket and term from Robert Frost's Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening…but I digress).

Yet regardless of one's social issues, or Socialist issues (if you will), everyone knows that it wasn't until the Image Orthicon tube was introduced, from Farnsworth's patent #2,087,683 (which was the first to disclose a "low velocity" method of electron scanning for derf sake!!), that the industry had the tool it really needed to bring the world into our living rooms. 

Thus the entire debate culminates in a very KISS meets the Phantom of The Park climactic conclusion, with Farnsworth being KISS (specifically Ace Frehley as he is arguably the most scientific member of the original band alumni) and Vladimir Zworykin, the Phantom, A.K.A Abner Devereaux, the demented inventor who attempts to turn unwitting amusement park guests into a cyborg army to do his socialist, French-pig bidding.  But in the end, just as KISS defeated their cybernetic dopplegangers, so Farnsworth will his own.

Seacrest out.