Loser News

Hey everybody, it’s me Ted. Well, I skewered my first deer last weekend utilizing the Blackhawk Vapor Realtree Timber HD with the tri-wrapped 120 gram carbon fibers, you know the one. 

Anyways, I found that it truly did provide excellent loop strength and durability, and the push in v-nock made for a super easy and graceful rotation. I carved my own point/pile out of the antler of last years kill and epoxied a sharpened Rainbow Trout ribcage to the edges so it would really catch, especially when fired from my new Ross Carnivore 34 Compound Bow.

Unfortunately, the combination of extreme power, sheer speed, and virtually bendless flight completely negated “Archers’ Paradox” and I ended up shooting my quarry in the ear, rather than the heart.  Long story short, I tracked my “kill” for sixteen miles, following a mixed trail of intermittently scattered blood and ear goo, until my hat-mounted flashlight finally died and I was forced to give up the chase.

Still, the drive home was pleasant, and humming along with my favorite Mac Davis cassette, I realized that hunting really isn’t about how big a deer head you put on your wall or how much venison you jam into your garage freezer.  No, it’s about dead animals.  Because after all is said and done, it’s the killin’ that counts.  And nobody kills better than Ted.  

Happy killin’ everybody.