Loser News

Ever get a big chunk of something stuck in between your frontal and temporal lobes?

Ever have that “not so fresh feeling” when you jab your parietal lobe with a pencil?

Well, could be you need new improved Mental Floss.

Ya know, six out of nine thousand neurologists surveyed recommend Mental Floss for their patients who insist on touching their brains.  Mental Floss contains enhanced Lobe-Glide® technology, a rejuvinating burst of Retsin, and is laced with an FDA approved non-coagulant.

And Mental Floss is safe for kids!!

Warning:  Mental Floss should not be used in conjuntion with Brain Pics or Mind Douche products. Mental Floss may cause nausea, vomiting, blindness, nose bleed, death, a tingling sensation, crabs, dyptheria, callouses, incontinence, and the heebie jeebies.  If you experience any of these reactions, immmediately cease use of this product and call your mortician.