Loser News

WHITE HOUSE, Washington- Secret Service agents shot and killed recently appointed First Dog, Bo Robinson-Obama, when it was realized that he was actually a highly trained radical Muslim assassin.

“Who’d have thunk it?” new dog owner and President of the United States, Barack Obama mused. “Lucky, we found out before he ate the kids.”

Bo, a Portuguese Water Dog gifted by Ted Kennedy, will be considered an $80,000 tax write-off for the Democratic Senator, though it does place his motives under scrutiny.

“How could I possible know the dog I trained from birth was a terrorist?!” Kennedy retorted at an early morning news conference.  “This is just like when I kille…uh I mean when that chick mysteriously drowned in the car I was driving through a lake while I was completely sober!!  I paid my dues!” he added, referring to the two months of probation he suffered after the 1969 incident.

President Obama was visibly concerned.  “I guess we should have just gone to the pound, but those dogs are pretty gross.”