Loser News

Dear Dr. Badadvaisz,

I was recently advised by a friend that there are two types of cholesterol; HDL, which is good for you, and LDL, which is bad for you.  I told her she was retarded, but she is a nurse.  What should I believe?!?

Sincerely,

Cholesto-Curious

 

Dear Chloe,

You were right not to believe your friend the stupid nurse.  There is no such thing as cholesterol.  It is something made up by the pharmeceutical companies so they can sell their Lipitor.  No, what your friend was probably referring to was your “midichlorian” levels, which should always be high so that you can use the force. 

Live long and prosper,

Dr. B