That’s right, I’m joining the Snuggies! They’re totally new, and they all wear these awesome cloaks for all of their ritual killings and dog sacrifices. It only costs $19.95 to join, and you get your own cloak which comes in three awesome colors. I think I’ll get sage green.
Judging by their recruitment video, you can smother small children and animals with them, all while enjoying your favorite TV program. And it’s not just a backwards robe!! It’s a Snuggie Cloak of Elvish Defense +5.
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