Loser News

That’s right, America!! The Ghosthunters are back with our usual band of paranormal probers; Neck, Horger, Ted, and Sanjay (recently returned from his stint on disabiity), but with super-bonus, celebrity guest, Casper Van Dien.

After the “Mystery of the Haunted Pants”, we were even more convinced that Ted had subtle psychic abilities, along with serious emotional problems.  Therefore, when he came into Ghosthunter Headquarters with tears streaming down his face and the most recent copy of Vogue clutched tightly within his sausage-like fingers, we knew we were onto something.

When Neck finally got him calmed down (by giving him a can of Nestea and letting him watch Tom and Jerry), we were able to ascertain that Ted had received a vision of Jennifer Aniston throwing herself off of the Chucky Cheese on Monroe Street in Toledo.  So, we hopped into the Mystery Machine (which in actuality is my Ford Freestyle, but for tax purposes is called the “Mystery Machine”), and were off. 

Naturally, Casper got shotgun because he’s the special celebrity guest ghost hunter, but Horger started getting indignant because he had to sit in the way-back with Neck who persisted in crossing the imaginary line with, what else, his neck.  Ted was still sobbing in the back, and Sanjay was singing “Song Song Blue” with his head sticking out the window as the mid-December breeze flowed through his Neil Diamond “do”. 

So, I turned up my Hootie and the Blowfish Reunion Tour CD and settle in for the ride.  When we got to Chuckie Cheese, Jennifer Aniston wasn’t on the roof.  In fact, she wasn’t inside either.  Come to find out, she was on set in Tunesia, filming a romantic comedy with Pauly Shore.

Well, we all yelled at Ted, but the day wasn’t a complete waste.  Casper treated us all to pizza and tokens, but we unfortunately lost Sanjay in the ball pit.