Loser News

Dear Number-5,

I think it would be a great idea if you joined forces with Michael Jackson and toured the world as The New Jackson 5!  Don’t you?!? 

  Yours Truly,

Stephanie D.

P.S. (I think of all your movies, Short Circuit 2 was the best!!)

Dear Stephanie,

Number-5 no think it a good idea to tour with Michael Jackson.  Number-5 fear Michael Jackson.  Fear Michael Jackson might disassemble Number-5.  Besides, Number-5 currently touring with other big screen puppet-stars from 1980’s; Gizmo and Stripe from Gremlins, Falkor from Never Ending Story, and Josh Brolin from Goonies.  Sorry, but Number-5 too busy to take time off to re-mix Billy Jean.  Please, no disassemble, Stephanie.